Too funny for words
Until just about 2 years ago myself and Mrs Akela lived in a flat that was partly behind and partly above an estate agent, an estate agent who was making a lot of money out of the booming housing market. We shared the same Land Lord.
When they needed to expand they approached our Land Lord and asked if they could take over the whole building, if they couldn’t then they were going to walk out and find somewhere else for a bigger office. The result was that we were given 2 months notice to quit our home because the estate agent wanted to make a load of money out of the artificially inflated housing market. That's right, evicted to fule somebody elses greed.
So we left and found a house to rent only a few hundred yards away.
The Estate Agent decided to use the part of the flat that was behind them as an extension to the offices and convert the upstairs into a smaller flat. They then had the audacity to offer it back to us, 30% smaller at 25% more rent.
We told them to go fuck themselves.
Two years later and the housing market is going down the toilet, word on the street is that the poor old estate agent are cutting prices and making people redundant.
How my heart bleeds
And you know what else?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HA FUCKING HA!
*Rolls about on the floor pissing himself*
I hope those greedy wankers go completely bankrupt!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Advertising
If you click on the little map at the top right you will get through to a world map showing where the visitors to this blog come from, run your eyes over it and you will also see adverts. Now it has become abundantly obvious that these adverts are targeted. Normally you will see adverts for retailers of scout and guide uniforms, or for out doors equipment, you get the picture. It seems to tie in with my more common ramblings.
So why, at the moment, do I keep getting a big advert for scientology? Why? I'm a Christian, albeit of the more liberal, takes Genesis as alegorical, varierty but I quite frankly think scientology is complete twaddle, and, until now, have not even mention it on here (that I can remember).
Who ever is paying for this advertising is getting a pretty poor deal and I would advise Scientologists (should they ever stumble across this) to find a new advertising agency!
If you click on the little map at the top right you will get through to a world map showing where the visitors to this blog come from, run your eyes over it and you will also see adverts. Now it has become abundantly obvious that these adverts are targeted. Normally you will see adverts for retailers of scout and guide uniforms, or for out doors equipment, you get the picture. It seems to tie in with my more common ramblings.
So why, at the moment, do I keep getting a big advert for scientology? Why? I'm a Christian, albeit of the more liberal, takes Genesis as alegorical, varierty but I quite frankly think scientology is complete twaddle, and, until now, have not even mention it on here (that I can remember).
Who ever is paying for this advertising is getting a pretty poor deal and I would advise Scientologists (should they ever stumble across this) to find a new advertising agency!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Something Positive
After various moans recently I thought it was time to write something positive.
This afternoon one of my cubs completed his Chief Scouts Silver Award. The final part was his personal challenge. Now bear in mind that this kid is ten, he ran a book stall from scratch at a local fete to raise money for a charity that helps provide clean water supplies to remote areas of Africa. He wrote, printed and distributed flyers to get books of people in his street. He arranged for them to be collected, sorted and priced them all, arranged with the organisers to have a pitch and then, with a team a cubs he had recruited, set about flogging them and last I heard was on course to raisning over £100.
He's just ten!
He's my senior sixer, simply because of his total enthusiasm. I knew I'd picked the right kid for the job at the start of this term. We went for a hike and it rained, I mean it really rained, it was frankly biblical! And there he was, no water proof trousers, instead in shorts and a water proof coat not giving a dam. He scampered along jumping in every puddle he could find, laughing and shouting and generally encouraging every soggy bedraggled kid he could lay his hands on.
What a star.
After various moans recently I thought it was time to write something positive.
This afternoon one of my cubs completed his Chief Scouts Silver Award. The final part was his personal challenge. Now bear in mind that this kid is ten, he ran a book stall from scratch at a local fete to raise money for a charity that helps provide clean water supplies to remote areas of Africa. He wrote, printed and distributed flyers to get books of people in his street. He arranged for them to be collected, sorted and priced them all, arranged with the organisers to have a pitch and then, with a team a cubs he had recruited, set about flogging them and last I heard was on course to raisning over £100.
He's just ten!
He's my senior sixer, simply because of his total enthusiasm. I knew I'd picked the right kid for the job at the start of this term. We went for a hike and it rained, I mean it really rained, it was frankly biblical! And there he was, no water proof trousers, instead in shorts and a water proof coat not giving a dam. He scampered along jumping in every puddle he could find, laughing and shouting and generally encouraging every soggy bedraggled kid he could lay his hands on.
What a star.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Call Centres.
Do I need to say anymore?
Today, for reasons too complicated and frankly to dull to explain, I had to call the Minsitry of Defence Human Resources department. Now don't worry, I'm not in the forces, I'm not a spook and neither do I even work for the MoD, like I said complicated.
I knew the name of the person I needed to speek to, I new what building they work in but how to get through them when I didn't have their phone number? Look them up on the interweb find a phone number for the building, phone it and ask for them? Is that your suggestion? No really is it?
Oh silly, trusting, naive you.
I found a phone number on the MoD website for their HR section, but alarm bells started to ring when it started 0845. I could see where this one was going very quickly, and so as expected I got the robotic automated voice giving me various options ranging from moving jobs to disciplinery hearings to pensions, you name it, it had a sodding option until at last I got to, at about number 734, any other query.
Now it was my turn to be naive, normally when you reach this point you finally get to speak to someone, even if its only some monkey who has no idea what he's talking about. And that is what I expected.
What I got was another fucking list of options. Grrrr.....
Anyway I patiently sat through the current list, till the last option was "if you have such and such a query stay on the line" and was straight away put through to someone who though I worked for the MoD and needed help with some form or another. There was no way out!
So I politely explained that I needed to speak to a particular person and could they let me have their number.
No.
Eh? What? Come again?
I'm very sorry sir, but I cant give out their number, I can only put you through.
So she put me through and put me on hold, and I stayed on hold, for ten fucking minutes the most excrutiating music you can comprehend was played in my ear, the sound quality was so bad I don't even know what it was. After ten minutes I was ready to throw my phone out the window, or failing that remove my own testicals with a rusty spoon, it would have been less excutiating.
Finally someone picks up, it seems the person I needed had left for the day.
Can I have her number?
No, I can only take a message.
Why not?
I can only take a message.
Really?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I'll try again tomorrow, just keep any rusty spoons out of reach.
Do I need to say anymore?
Today, for reasons too complicated and frankly to dull to explain, I had to call the Minsitry of Defence Human Resources department. Now don't worry, I'm not in the forces, I'm not a spook and neither do I even work for the MoD, like I said complicated.
I knew the name of the person I needed to speek to, I new what building they work in but how to get through them when I didn't have their phone number? Look them up on the interweb find a phone number for the building, phone it and ask for them? Is that your suggestion? No really is it?
Oh silly, trusting, naive you.
I found a phone number on the MoD website for their HR section, but alarm bells started to ring when it started 0845. I could see where this one was going very quickly, and so as expected I got the robotic automated voice giving me various options ranging from moving jobs to disciplinery hearings to pensions, you name it, it had a sodding option until at last I got to, at about number 734, any other query.
Now it was my turn to be naive, normally when you reach this point you finally get to speak to someone, even if its only some monkey who has no idea what he's talking about. And that is what I expected.
What I got was another fucking list of options. Grrrr.....
Anyway I patiently sat through the current list, till the last option was "if you have such and such a query stay on the line" and was straight away put through to someone who though I worked for the MoD and needed help with some form or another. There was no way out!
So I politely explained that I needed to speak to a particular person and could they let me have their number.
No.
Eh? What? Come again?
I'm very sorry sir, but I cant give out their number, I can only put you through.
So she put me through and put me on hold, and I stayed on hold, for ten fucking minutes the most excrutiating music you can comprehend was played in my ear, the sound quality was so bad I don't even know what it was. After ten minutes I was ready to throw my phone out the window, or failing that remove my own testicals with a rusty spoon, it would have been less excutiating.
Finally someone picks up, it seems the person I needed had left for the day.
Can I have her number?
No, I can only take a message.
Why not?
I can only take a message.
Really?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I'll try again tomorrow, just keep any rusty spoons out of reach.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Rats!
Our scout HQ has rats. And I don't mean that the BNP have turned up trying to indoctinate my little band of horrors. No we actually have small, furry, omnivours in our ramshackle lean to.
There I was this evening, not actually dealing with the kids but digging kit out for this weekend's camp from the attic, when I saw it. A big sod, more the size of a rabbit, bloody huge, happily trundling along before disappearing into an inaccessible corner, no doubt eating a load of expensive kits (although hopefully the stuff that belongs to the Guides!).
What fun we will have now getting rid of the little sods.
Our scout HQ has rats. And I don't mean that the BNP have turned up trying to indoctinate my little band of horrors. No we actually have small, furry, omnivours in our ramshackle lean to.
There I was this evening, not actually dealing with the kids but digging kit out for this weekend's camp from the attic, when I saw it. A big sod, more the size of a rabbit, bloody huge, happily trundling along before disappearing into an inaccessible corner, no doubt eating a load of expensive kits (although hopefully the stuff that belongs to the Guides!).
What fun we will have now getting rid of the little sods.
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