Having a Laugh

At the moment yours truly and Mrs Akela are looking to buy a house and it is a process that is exposing to that most obnoxious of breeds, the estate agent! We've encountered them before of course when finding somewhere to rent and have had the inevitable rows about deposits and grubby carpets etc but this time round they are trying to obtain the better part of quarter of a million from us, and given the standard of what they are trying to get away with giving us in exchange for said quarter of a million I am beginning to believe that they are all, quite simply, arseholes.

Lets go through some of the description of the one we went to tonight shall we? And bare in mind this is just a few of the issues!

"Renovated High Spec." High fucking spec? Are you having a laugh? They've converted the loft and the new floor doesn't reach the walls. They've re pointed some brick work and left holes in it. They've left bare bricks in one bedroom and asking for more money if we want it plastered.

"Entrance Lobby". Entrance fucking lobby? Are you having a laugh? You can't get more than 1 person in it, it's the tiny little gap at the bottom of the stairs (which are just bare boards by the way).

"Three bedrooms". Three fucking bedrooms? Are you having a laugh? 1 decent bedroom (with the famous brick work with holes in) and 2 large cupboards is nearer the truth.

Lounge and dining room and kitchen? No, a lounge with a kitchen at one end.

Walking distance to city centre? Look at a map and tell me what you think.

And they want £225K for this? They can fuck off!

NB - This is an edited and slightly more descrete version of what I originally posted. Biting the hand that feeds you is not always the cleverest of things to do!

Too funny for words

Until just about 2 years ago myself and Mrs Akela lived in a flat that was partly behind and partly above an estate agent, an estate agent who was making a lot of money out of the booming housing market. We shared the same Land Lord.

When they needed to expand they approached our Land Lord and asked if they could take over the whole building, if they couldn’t then they were going to walk out and find somewhere else for a bigger office. The result was that we were given 2 months notice to quit our home because the estate agent wanted to make a load of money out of the artificially inflated housing market. That's right, evicted to fule somebody elses greed.

So we left and found a house to rent only a few hundred yards away.

The Estate Agent decided to use the part of the flat that was behind them as an extension to the offices and convert the upstairs into a smaller flat. They then had the audacity to offer it back to us, 30% smaller at 25% more rent.

We told them to go fuck themselves.

Two years later and the housing market is going down the toilet, word on the street is that the poor old estate agent are cutting prices and making people redundant.

How my heart bleeds

And you know what else?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HA FUCKING HA!

*Rolls about on the floor pissing himself*

I hope those greedy wankers go completely bankrupt!