Total Football

So Tuesday night I went to see Arsenal v Sheffield United. I'm no follower of either team but I had a spare evening and there were cheap tickets going so along I went. And I'm glad I did because I was treated to one of the most wonderful displays of total football by Arsenal's absurdly talented youngsters that I have ever seen. Now I know Sheffiled United aren't exactly Chelsea but they are still pros with a few old campaighners in their ranks like Gary Speed and Glen Cotterill so you might have expected some resistance. Instead they were destroyed by beautifully crafted one touch football that was quite simply a joy to watch.

And it has made me think, why do I follow a ropey old team like Barnet when there is football out there like that to watch?

I suppose partly its historical, I've followed Barnet since I was a kid and changing allegience is just not what a fan does. It's more than that though. yes I saw an amazing performance on Tuesday but it wont last half as long in my memory as standing on the old West Bank end at Underhill and seeing Tony Lynch lash one in from 30 yards against Darlington in 1993. 15 years ago and I can still see it like it was yesterday. Or of Dougie Freedman lobbing the Northampton goal keeper from what must have been 45 yards, on the volley in 1995. Or Lee Roach's injury time goal mouth scramble winner against Leigh RMI in 2004.

And I have no idea why that is. And to be honest I don't want to know why either, to oever analyse would simply ruin the magic.

So while I may well return to Arsenal (I typically treat myself to 2 or 3 top class games per season) to see some amazing football my heart will stay with Barnet, no matter how woeful they may be.

It's a funny old game.

Wonderful Stuff!

Proof, if ever it was needed, that scout leaders are simply big kids who never grew up. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the staff of Tolmers scout camp.

Enjoy!

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

Where to begin on this one?

First of all I guess we should say that this is clearly not the first film to use the holocaust as its subject matter. Such films are pretty extensive including most famously Life is Beautiful and Schindler’s List.

However what is original about this film is the perspective it takes and by taking this new perspective it shows shear genius in fully exposing the horrors of the holocaust and the concentration camps with in actual fact very few minutes of film actually set in the camp.

The main character of the story is Bruno. Bruno is the 8 year old son of an SS officer who, when he is promoted, moves with his family to run a concentration camp. Bruno is too young to fully comprehend the war and to him it is just one big adventure. This is put into a startling light as one day he goes exploring away from the family home and comes across the perimeter of the camp that his father runs. Across the fence he meets shmall, an 8 year old jew who he assumes works on a farm and wears the striped pyjamas as some kind of game. Their friendship develops eventually leading to one of the most heart stopping climaxes to a film I have ever seen. I wont describe it, you really have to see this yourself.

While Bruno is the protagonist in reality the film is about his father, to use a crude analogy Bruno is to his father what Bart Simpson is to Homer. And the reason it si about him is because of the way the human mind works.

Most of us know the full horror and reality of the holocaust and Dachau and Belsen and Auschwitz, or at least we think we do, I thought I did until I watched this film. I thought I understood the inhumanity and evil that caused it. What I realise now however is how my own mind, and I’m sure many others dehumanised it. Not in terms of those who died, but in terms of those who did it. I had, unconsciously, written off the Nazis and the SS as lunatics, as robots, as these machines that did this. I had never really thought of them as human beings. Yet in this film this camp commandant is shown in his family life. He has a wife and two children, he has parents, he sits down for dinner with them every evening. He is very much a human being.

We see very little of the camp, although the film takes a certain knowledge of it as a given by the viewer. Now we see this human and we know what he does when he is at work. And I think that nothing emphasises the horror of the whole holocaust more than that. It was humans that did this.

I think everyone should see this film, just don’t expect to come out with a smile on your face.

A lot to write about

I have a lot to say, unfortunately it's late and I need to be out of bed early tomorrow as I have a shed load on at work, so the meat of what I need to say will have to wait. However the bear bones of what I will write about tomorrow are.

1. The book thief is beautiful and brilliant book, just don't expect a happy ending.
2. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas is one of the most brilliant films I have ever seen and should be seen by anyone who does not understand the horror of the holocaust (and indeed those that do)
3. The Daily Mail are it again spreading more anti Islamic bull shit with headlines that distort the truth. Have a read here to read it's latest bunch of lies and distortions if you can do so without putting your fist through the screen.

Expect plenty from me over the next few days.

Good night.

A Tragic Waste of a Young Life

I was going to blog tonight about how delighted I was at how my beloved Barnet had finally stopped the rot and picked up some points. However events have over taken that as I discovered when I went to the Barnet website for the match report.

A talented young man taken from us too soon.

Rest in peace Oli.

For the love of God why?

I probably watch too much TV, it's a habit I have developed over the last couple of years since I stopped spending 3 hours of my day commuting. It's also something that I fully intend to dispense with lest I encounter more odious stuff like the Jeremy Kyle show. Any how, I wanted to comment on something I have seen on the goggle box (as my dear old Nan used to call it) recently.

What is it? I hear you cry.

It's the advert for the Cats Collection, the website for which can be found here. An advert for a product that seemed so pointless and awful that I simply had to have a shifty at their website.

I look at this product and I have to ask myself, for the love of God why? Why would you buy this? Why would you have any desire to have anything to with it? Why would you create it? Why would you have the nerve to try and sell it to anyone?

For the love of God why??????????????????

Look at it, just look at it, LOOK AT THE FUCKING THING!

IT'S FUCKING HIDEOUS!

What possessed the people responsible for this? It's not even like it's aimed at kids, it actually seems to be aimed at adults, at people with some kind of interest in cats. And they are trying to flog them these utterly tacky and vile er.... well.... I don't know what they are, some kind of fluffy toy?

I'm always amazed at the crap you can buy in the shops but this must have plumbed new depths.

Croatia 1
England 4

Did I really just watch that?
Was the result real?
Did 19 year old Theo Walcott really score a hat trick?

Yes I did
Yes it is
Yes he did

So why, after a night like that am I still not happy and still pretty worried about the England football team?

For very good reasons. Until the well deserved red card for Croatia's Robert Kovac England were 1-0 up but if anyone that tells you that they were entirely comfortable is either completely deluded or telling out right lies. The passing and technical ability of Croatia was far superior to England who kept seeming to forget how to pass and instead lumped it forward to Heskey for him to give it away. Yes when they got it on the floor they looked far more threatening than when they didn't but there was always the feeling that Croatia would hurt England with superior passing and indeed they did pull one goal back with a slick move that left England chasing shadows.

Croatia's heads went down after the red card and that is what resulted in the stunning score line. England still relied too much on pace to exploit the spaces that a demoralised Croatia team left them and most worryingly of all the mid field paring of Gareth Barry and Frank Lampard were totally anonymous.

Tonight England got lucky exploiting the poor moral of an otherwise technically superior Croatia side. I for one will not be running down to William Hill to put money on them qualifying

Still no room at the inn

Two more days, two more kids turned away from cubs because we don't have any spare spaces. Like I said before it's brilliant that the demand is there, we are clearly doing something right if scouting is this popular and it just goes to show that young people are not bereft of a sense of adventure, as the media seem to think they are. It is though still imensley frustrating that we can't offer these kids places because we just don't have the adults.

Who ever you are, why ever you're reading this, have you ever thought about giving being a scout leader a try? All you need is no previous convictions and a sense of humour! Go on, you know you're tempted :-)

More Hysteria

Before I begin I should probably start by saying that I originally came across this via the Daily Mail which of course puts me in a suspiscious frame of mind as to its authenticity from the very begining so do bare that in mind as you read.

Anyway, having read it I did a spot of googling and came across the original stories in the Shropshire Star here and here.

Now it certainly seems that the screaming headlines aren't quite the truth, but what it does boil down to is that council staff working in parks have been specifically briefed to look out for peadophiles in local parks in Telford, albeit individuals that they think are suspiscious and not just those without children as the headlines state.

Regardless of the detail this is quite shocking, it is totally unecessary and serves only to further whip up the hysteria in this country about peadophiles. And in turn this also makes me people even less inclined to do anything that involves working with children because of the sense of suspiscion that they feel under.

Your child is more likely to be struck by lightening than to be abducted by a stranger, 90% of sexual abuse takes place within the family or extended family. The threat of "stranger danger" is negligable compared, for example, to being run over. If you are a parent making sure your child can cross the road and cycle safely (as opposed to stopping them do it) should be a far bigger priority that looking out for peadophiles.

Everyone that comes into contact with children shares a responsibility for their protection, however that should come with a liberal dose of common sense. Of course a park keeper that sees a child injure themselves or in distress should of course intervene, as should any other adult on hand. Yet in the climate created by council staff being briefed to look out for peadophiles how comfortable would any adult in Telford be about assisting a distressed child?

This policy is just the latest stage in this country's unhealthy obession with peadohiles, fuled to a massive extent by the tabloids. And obsession that needs to be got rid of, and fast.

Totally Vile

Have you ever watched the Jeremy Kyle show? No really, have you? I only ask because having been unlucky enough to stumble upon it once or twice in the nether regions of the more obscure free view channels has led me to wonder whether in actual fact this is a spoof.

For those of you who have not had the pleasure it essentially takes the Killroy formula and takes it to new extremes but without even the same sense of humour which something like Jerry Springer (which I would add is an equally nasty show) has.

Each episode a series of individuals are brought on to tell their tale of wo (and often they are really quite harrowing stories) and then dear old Jeremy brings on the rest of the cast, mostly villians, some heros and procedes to "tell it like it is" in his self confessed "direct style".

Let me give you an example, this afternoon we had the section entitled "Mum, how could you choose your violent boyfriend over me". A 16 year old girl was brought on who moved out of home because her mum's new boyfriend was, you guessed it violent. Mum was brought on for her daughter to confront, followed by the boy friend. There then followed the inevitable twist as actually it turned out that the mum was as responsible as the boy friend and Jezza (as I think we should all him) dished out his words of wisdom to all of them to make it all ok.

Well you go Jezza, you all round hero you! Lets take a situation that is clearly painful for all involved, where some of them clearly need professional help and splat it all over tv and make ourself out as a hero shall we?

To me Jezza comes across as an utter arsehole, coming out with such moments of humanity as saying "I'll get the truth out of her" (while smirking at the camera) and "Get off my show" having just spent the last 2 minutes ranting at some one without allowing them so much as a moment to respond.

What I find shocking about these programmes (of which this is simply the worst example) is the way that those involved are taken advantage of. Lets not beat about the bush on this, the people that feature on these shows are not educated middle class professionals. They are generally poorly educated, often unemployed and most importantly not able to articulate their thoughts adequatly and allow Jezza to speak for them. Without fail at some point on the show there will be a massive row with plenty of pointing and shouting and the inevitable entrance of the security team and the whole sorry ends results in humiliation for the poor sods involved. There complete lack of intelligence is taken complete advantage of.

I hope that doesn't sound patronising or cruel although I fear it does. I can see it now, these people are recruited, well spoken pleasent reserachers who promise them an end to all their problems where professional counsellors will get involved and it will be happily ever after. What they get is some utter arsehole creating bad day time entertainment for the masses.

I don't know what you do with the people that are featured on this show because they clearly have their problems but this clearly isn't it.

*Update* - Sunday 7 September

Today's Oberver features and extensive article from behind the scenes at Jeremy Kyle, and yes, it is every bit as vile as I suspected it was. As Carole Cadwalladr writes, they stopped this kind of spectacle at Bedlam in the 18th century.

Go have a read here.

A small confession

Staying on the subject of Akela’s holidays I thought it was time I shared a small confession with you, and that is that I am a bit of a closet train buff. Now there’s no need to worry, I have never sat at the end of a platform with a thermos noting down numbers but I do have a real affection for the old choo choos and think that when it all works well (as opposed to a points failure at Hitchin delaying the in bound service etc etc) there is simply no other way to travel. It has a romance all it’s own!

Which is why First Great Western should be utterly ashamed of the way they have treated at least one of their stations (and I assume others) in the shape of Truro. Here is a wonderful old place, red brick, old fashioned, plenty of station buildings etc, it could easily feature in a episode of Heart Beat. The kind of place it should be a real pleasure to pass through. FGW however have allowed the place to deteriorate in a terrible way. Parts of it are rusty, half the station buildings are out of use, the old waiting room has had all its old fittings gutted and replaced with a plastic floor and metal benches, the paint is pealing everywhere, it’s pretty grim. It wouldn’t take much to tart this place up but while the railways are still privatised I can’t see it.

A crying shame.

Guess who’s back? (Or what Akela did on his holidays!)

So after a few days (mostly) away from the keyboard yours truly has returned from his holidays (or a short break anyway) and is ready to rant away once again.

However before I start on the time honoured tradition of exploding about one thing or another I thought I’d say a few words in praise of where I have been for the last few days, that is Cornwall. And what a fabulous place it is!

For those of you who rarely, if ever, get away from the hustle, bustle and general soullessness of London and the South East then drop every thing and go, go now. It simply has a different pace of life, the moment I stepped off the train I could feel things slowing down. The scenery is stunning but what I loved most of all is the way that everything is so much less formal.

Our hotel, The Grove (in Falmouth by the way) was run by a character slightly reminiscent of Bernard Black in Black Books (a tv show which if you have never seen you must do so very quickly), he didn’t know what day it was most of the time, didn’t know what day any of his guests were leaving, could barely be bothered even thinking about charging us for our stay and generally made us feel like we were a guest in his own home. The Pea Souk café was run by a wonderfully grumpy old woman where once again you were on her territory and would do things her way. Simply brilliant! Harvey’s Wharfe Restaruant. Wonderful food if you want a spot of posher nosh but service that bordered on Fawlty Towers style at times, again all too friendly to worry about though.

Of course not everyone shares these views, we shared the train down with a group on students, one of whom set about telling everyone who could be bothered to listen (and frankly there weren’t too many) about what a brilliant place London is and how it was the greatest city in the world. Bit of a prick really. The temptation was to get up and tell him to fuck off back there if he thought it was so great but to be honest I had neither the time nor energy to do so.

All in all though a good trip away!

No Room at the Inn part 2

Another day, another kid turned away from cubs because we don't have the space or the adults to accept any more.

Sigh.