I Blame The Parents

So due to a lack of female leaders at the group I have been establishing a mum's rota to help with scouts. It's been easier than I expected with 7 mums volunteering following a quick email round. What's been most interesting though has been the individuals that have volunteered and the nature of their kids.

The parents that have volunteered are those who's kids are well mannered, that listen, that don't answer back, that clean up after themselves, that are enthusiastic, that smile, that work hard and most of all that say thank you.

And you have to ask yourself, is anyone really surprised by that?

The Ghost of Christmas Past

The ever thought provoking Snuffy is back again with a post about bumping into a former pupil in the supermarket and the wave of emotion that brought out in her. And it got me thinking about all the kids that have passed through my hands over the years. They must number in the hundreds somewhere, and that's just the regulars. Those who I've dealt with fleetingly, filling in at their groups, or camped next to at a jamboree would stretch to thousands.

I wonder how many of those hundreds remember me? I would like to say I remember everyone of them, but I'm sure I don't. I certainly remember a hell of a lot of them. I still have a photo on my wall of the group I was a leader with at uni, and what a bunch of characters they were! I still have all the presents and cards that my current lot have given me over the years, at Christmas, at the end of camp, when they've moved on to older sections. Even when the names escape me I still remember the loud one, the quiet one, the bright one, the comedian, the shy one, the adventurous one, the happy one, the twins, the brothers, the sisters. Do they remember me? I hope they do. I hope they remember the adventures we had together. I hope they remember the first night away from their parents, the first time they cooked for themselves, the first time they abseiled or canoed or fell in a river, got soaking wet through on a hike.

Most of all I hope they remember how proud they all made me.

Where are they all now? Some of them may be married and have kids, some will be at uni. Are they successful? Are they happy? Did I help them in any way?

I guess like Snuffy the day will come when I'll find out. Till then, I wish everyone of them all the luck and love in the world.

Ups and Downs

Being a scout leader is amazing. Seriously. When it goes right there is simply nothing like it. When the big camp or expedition comes off after years of planning. When the shy timid kid achieves something that they never dreamed possible. When a kid smiles and says thank you. All those things make you feel ten feet tall and leave you with the most wonderful memories and friends that last a life time.

Then there are days like today. They come rarely but when they do they really REALLY suck. Some times being in charge is very VERY lonely.

Meat and Potatoes

So back to what this blog started life as, what it's like being a cub leader and a couple of things that occurred to me during cubs tonight.....

First it was deadline day for final payments and permission forms for our week long camp at half term, Cubjam, we came so close to a full house. We have all the money in and all but one of the permission forms. And the irritating thing is that the moment we advertised this camp back in September I could have told you who I would be chasing. I know because it's always the same. I know who will get it in first, who will be in last minute and who I will have to harass. It's absolutely infuriating. Such is the life of a scout leader!

Anyway next up was something I hadn't really appreciated before. We were playing a wide game outside and I had a gas tilly lamp lit. Now these things get hot and I had told the kids to not stand too near it. The game involved different teams wearing different t-shirts at different times and their came a point where one kid was trying to put one on, had it stuck, couldn't see and was staggering around and was suddenly straddling the tilly lamp. Before I knew what had happened I had picked him up and put him down again well clear of it. I didn't think, I didn't pause, I just did it and could easily have not noticed at all! And it struck me how much of this I now do on auto pilot. I've done this so many years now (coming up to 15) that much of it has become instinctive.

It's slightly scary.

Welcome to my world

So sat at my desk looking for a pencil I had a rummage through the small rucksack that I had brought in with me today. Having removed the things that I had deliberately brought into work with me I came across all the random shit that had accumulated in the bottom without my knowledge. And it made me wonder what it says about the life of a scout leader. Here's what I found.....

1. A pair of gloves I thoght I'd lost.
2. A box of matches
3. A teaspoon (why?)
4. A guitar tuner
5. Half a packet of lockets
6. A group name tape
7. A stage 1 first aid badge
8. A sandwich bag sealer

I fear that it says a great deal about me that I don't want to know.

Welcome to my little world!

A Sad Goodbye

As a leader you can never have favourites in your group. It's not fare on anyone, either the kids themselves, the other kids, other leaders or yourself. You don't do anyone any favours and cause problems for a lot of others. So that's that explanation out the way.

However all leaders are human and there will always be those kids who you end up getting on with better, who you have a natural soft spot for. And tonight I said a sad goodbye to two of those kids who had their last night before moving up to scouts. Both are bubbly, enthusiastic, well behaved yet normally up to some kind of good natured mischief. They are brilliant with younger kids when they get tired and can talk to guests and other adults confidently.

All round good eggs and I am going to miss them both!

And what is cubs loss is most definitely our scout troop's gain.

Good luck girls!

Stress

The last few days have, for various reasons, seen me runnign round like a blue arsed fly dealing with cub and scout stuff and left me tired and irritable. But I've also ended up thinking, would my life be quite the same without a bunch of kids causing me to lose sleep, lose hair, lose money and cycle madly through town trying to ctach up with a bus? (To difficult to explain why).

And the answer I came up with is would it fuck!

Moving on

So as some of you may recall I agreed to move on from cubs to running scouts in the summer. Tonight it looks like we have found my replacement as Akela. (I mean to run cubs, my alter ego will live on and will still be writing on here as much as ever!)

I'm dead pleased (actually, hold your horses, the fat lady isn't singing yet, but she's certainly finished her warm up and is waiting in the wings) to have found someone. I've put a lot of work in over the last 6 years and to have someone come along so quickly to take it on and make sure it doesn't all go to waste is brilliant.

And yet.... fuck it's hard letting go. And I have to, because if they are going to carry on as a success they have to be allowed to do it their way and assert themselves and build their team around them. It's going to be difficult though, you can't work as hard as I have and easily let it go.

Glamour

Just another observation on the life of a cub leader and how glamorous it is. For the programme we had planned this Monday we were quite mob handed at 5 adults plus 2 explorer scouts. So me and another adult spent much of the evening on our hands and knees cleaning some ground sheets that had been put away muddy.

Later one of the seconders decided to vomit all over the floor, one of the explorers, bless him, volunteered to clean it up.

Who said doing this isn't glamorous?

A Rather Long Night

Well I did it, I told the cubs I would be leaving. They were pretty surprised and there were quite a few gasps. It shocked them a lot more than I expected.

And then there was one of those moments that makes it all worthwhile, when you realise why you do what you do and that all that hard work on those evenings and weekends is worth it. I explained that I wouldn't be going far as I would be simply taking over the scouts and the smile on the face of one of the kids that will be moving to scouts around the same time I do simply lit up the room! When you make a kid happy like that words can't explain just how special it is.

And so we had a slightly mad night with a camp fire in the rain, I sang till me throat gave in, we all got soaking wet but frankly, kids these days could use more time getting wet and muddy! Long live mud I say!

A Tale of Two Scouts

As a scout leader of any sort you should never have favourites. It's unfair on all the other kids and doesn't do that individual any favours if they don't have to work as hard at things. Take that as read. I am however a human being and I'll admit that I do have a favourite cub (about whom more later). I would never allow that fact to cloud my judgement on anything they did or allow myself to cut them more or less slack on anything, that would be wrong. However I do allow myself to mentally warm to that individual a little more than the others.

So why come out with this now?

Well I thought I'd mention it because we have a leaders planning meeting tonight and on the way home I spoke to another leader and it transpires that at the moment he is feeling a bit under appreciated, both in scouting and in various other voluntary roles that he does. In some ways he feels taken for granted. Now he is relatively new to scouting, he's been at it a couple of years as opposed to yours truly who first got involved when he was 8, some 22 years ago and never left. I didn't have the heart to tell him that if he wanted thanks he was probably in the wrong job. I think very few people appreciate just how dam hard volunteers like me and him work. Trust me, unless you do some kind of voluntary role that you fit around the rest of you family, friends and work you can have no idea, no idea whatsoever. I don't want that sound to grouchy because it wasn't meant to, it was just a statement of fact.

Anyway speaking to him made me think of this favourite cub and why she is my favourite. It's quite simple, because she says thank you. She throws herself into everything with wild abandon and daft grin on her face and gets others to do the same. And then she will turn to me and the other leaders and say thank you. A couple of weeks ago we borrowed a leader from another pack on camp and this child specifically approached me for her email address in order to write to them and thank them. She's that sort of kid.

And her parents are the same, they always say thank you, they are always appreciative, if they can do anything to help the group they will and if they can't do what wants doing they will always be very apologetic.

The whole family show their appreciation of how hard we, as volunteers work. And if more people did that maybe I wouldn't have a leader who is loosing the enthusiasm and zest that he used to have.

Memories Part 2

Earlier today I had reason to be going through a cupboard full of old photos. Many of those photos were from trips away with the cubs, both my current lot and my former band of horrors in Durham. And it's a strange feeling going through them, seeing all those old faces that come and go. The oldest cubs photo was taken, I think, in 1998. That means the oldest cubs then will (hopefully!) now be in their final year at university or have jobs, or maybe be married or have children. When I last saw them they were at primary school, and it seems like just yesterday.

I was pleased with how many names I could remember given the hundreds of kids that have passed through my hands in the 14 years I've been at this. It was also strange to look at the faces that I couldn't put a name to. Would they remember me if they saw me in the street tomorrow? Would they care? I hope they would, but the choice is someone elses. Even when I couldn't put a name to the face I could still remember what each kid was like. Who was loud and who was quiet. Who was the joker, who was the brave one, who was the natural leader, who was trouble, who had the wicked grin. They all stay with you.

It's a strange carry on this working with children lark. They come into your life for that short space of time and then fly off in what ever direction life takes them. You can never know what happens to all of them. I just hope that they all make the best of it that they can.

Sorry, suppose that was a bit personal compared to my normal rants, just feeling a bit funny today.

The way it is

Entertainer, accountant, camper, fire lighter, manager, diplomat, surrogate parent, chef, administrator, secretary, maker and repairer of just about anything, teacher, instructor, first aider, plumber, electrician, mechanic, health and safety, singer, lumber jack, navigator blah blah blag blah blah.

Just call me a cub leader.

Think I wore at least 5 of those hats today and didn't even meet any kids.

Yup, it's been one of those days.

Promotion

After 3 years of muddling through with a series of ineffectual stand ins we finally have themselves a new District Commissioner. He's young (25 I think), enthusiastic and will do a fantastic job, and good luck to him. While we have some very successful groups in the area we are simply not functioning as a district. Outside of cub level (which has muddled through on its own devices for some time) very little happens at district level so we certainly need him.

One of his first jobs was to offer me the position of Assistant District Commissioner (Development), ie to make the district events happen.

I was flattered. Honestly I was. It's not the first time I've been offered something either, previously I've been offered ADC (cubs), DESC and ESL (Young leaders). In the name of honesty I'll abandon modesty. They have been offered because I run a successful group. I have more kids than I know what to do with, I've had to stop letting kids on the waiting list because they'll never get to the top. I have recruited a brilliant team around me who have a wonderful mixture of youth and experience. I have also had a series of teenage explorer scouts help me who I have trained up to spread their wings and take on leader roles themselves.

So while I was flattered I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

That doesn't mean I accepted it though, I turned it down.

If I felt I could have done the job then I would have taken it. As it is though I reckon I commit at least 10 hours a week, often more, to scouting, most of it on my cubs. In the same way as teachers don't finish work at 3, scout leaders work far more than 2 hours on a Monday night. Remember this is voluntary time, I have a job, a family and a life elsewhere. The only way I could do it would be to quit as CSL and take it on as my "full time" role. And if I had I reckon I could have made a good job of it. It's not what I would want to do though.

For me scouting is, always has been and always will be about what goes on on a Monday night. It's about doing something amazing with the kids, developing their confidence, self respect and self discipline. About teaching them life skills. I am proud that by the time a kid moves up to scouts from me they can cook properly and carry out first aid above and beyond what is expected of their age group. It's about those opportunities to be a kid and learn from their own mistakes in a world where too many kids are wrapped in cotton wool. It's those glorious summer days where they form bonds of friendship that will last a life time and those cold wet winter night hikes where they prove to themselves what they are capable of. It's all those things and more and they are things that I can't be part of or make happen from what would essentially be a desk job.

So I effectively turned down a promotion.

It's an important job and the right person will be out there somewhere for it, but that person is not me.

Roll with the punches part 2


Today I'm actually laughing at the Mail, laughing at just how out of touch they are.


The article that is causing my mirth is this Peice of comedy


It sets out how the scout association is to publish new guidance to its adult leaders on how to deal with matters of sexual health among it's young members. I think that this is the guidance in question. I say think because the story says that it is to be published tomorrow, and as I write it is still today, if you see what I mean. However, have a read and see what you make of it.

I cannot see anything in this guidance that makes me uncomfortable, can you? When you read it you can see that leaders are told to discourage underage sex but to make sure that information is available about STDs, contraception etc. I simply don't get what the problem is.

The attitude of mail to this is nothing short of hilarious. The photo they show of a scout leader and his "pack" (for fuck's sake, can't they even get the terminology right if they want to be taken seriously?) from the 60s complete with shorts and big hat just makes me want to point and laugh. They seem to think that an attitude of don't speak, don't tell is going to stop teenagers having sex. Well I have news for them, it wont. And adults that deal with kids need to be ready to deal with what may be awkward situations. Anyone that says it is a simple thing to deal with is lying. Then again the Mail wouldn't know anything about that, they all think that young people are knife wielding hood rats who get A levels from bog roll dispensers.

Dealing with cubs it is unlikely this will be much of an issue for me, however I have had a series of teenaged young leaders helping me and if any of them had, or if any of them do approach me for advice then this guidance is what I consider a sensible approach.

I'm not entirely sure what the Mail would suggest but what I do note is that they haven't put their head on the block and actually said what they think we should do.

This paper is a fucking joke, it really is.

Hysteria

It is the tradition at my particular place of work to head to one of the local real ale boozers of a Friday lunch time and this Friday was no different.

This time a couple of people were there who I don't know that well, I think you'd call them acquaintances more than anything else, certainly they were not aware that I was involved in scouting in anyway. And conversation came round to the fact that one of them has a son who is about to start cubs. So far so good, I naturally showed an interest. Anyway eventually this individual said that he had volunteered to help out with cubs, not because he really wanted to, but because he didn't trust the leaders. This was not a particular anti scout leader thing, the fact is he does not trust any adult with his child. And what a sad state of affairs that is.

Now I completely understand wanting to meet the leaders involved, that makes sense, I get maybe enquiring as to what checks have been done on them, what training they have done and what first aid qualifications they have. It's very protective, but I get it. Yet to wrap your kid in cotton wool to the point where you wont trust them with anyone else is shocking, on two levels.

Firstly, where is the sense of adventure? The biggest thing kids get out of scouting, or any other organisation like guides, or boys/girls brigade, cadets, St Johns ambulance and so on, is that sense of adventure. It's about doing something away from your parents and gaining that sense of independence, of standing on your own two feet. And I think that kids that don't do that are missing out on something.

Secondly, that sense of mistrust. What a sad state of mind to be in. How tragic it must be to treat everyone you meet with suspicion, that they may realistically pose a threat to your child. Imagine that state of mind. How do you get to that place? I blame the media to a certain extent but there is an overall obsession in society with paedophiles etc that is just not healthy. And we need to start changing our mind set because unless we do, more kids are going to miss out.

Wonderful Stuff!

Proof, if ever it was needed, that scout leaders are simply big kids who never grew up. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the staff of Tolmers scout camp.

Enjoy!

Still no room at the inn

Two more days, two more kids turned away from cubs because we don't have any spare spaces. Like I said before it's brilliant that the demand is there, we are clearly doing something right if scouting is this popular and it just goes to show that young people are not bereft of a sense of adventure, as the media seem to think they are. It is though still imensley frustrating that we can't offer these kids places because we just don't have the adults.

Who ever you are, why ever you're reading this, have you ever thought about giving being a scout leader a try? All you need is no previous convictions and a sense of humour! Go on, you know you're tempted :-)

No Room at the Inn

So after quite a bit of arms in the air ranting of late I thought I'd return to what this blog was originally intended for, the trials and tribulations of being a cub leader (or the state of never having got beyond the age of 12 as my Mum would have you believe).

So the new term is rapidly approaching, we have two camps next term, we have a small army of new kids moving up from beavers and we are trying some weird and wonderful new stuff including having a crack at Tai Chi! So after a few weeks of recovering I'm really looking forward to a brand new term.

There's a fly in the ointment though, and that is we are full, in fact more than that we are totally over crowded. And not as in we can't take anyone for a few weeks but as in we wont even take kids onto the waiting list, we will only take those coming up from beavers and that's not going to change for a couple of years as things stand. And we are not the only ones, other nearby groups are in the same positions, bulging at the seams and no sign of a change.

Now of course in many ways this is a good thing, if we are fighting the kids off with a stick then clearly we are doing something right, kids only come if they enjoy it.

What I don't like though is the huge number I have had to turn away. There was one today, there were two last week, more before that, all told I've turned at least 20 kids away this year so far. It's a constant stream.

This could be different though, if we (and I mean the scout association over all) had the adults to run things we could set up new groups and take these kids, we could do so much. And I believe in what we do, it's about the only thing I agree with in terms of the right wing press, ie that getting out there and doing something adventurous outdoors that might involve getting cold wet and muddy does kids the world of good, and what's more they love it! (By the way I totally disagree with the right wing press on their attitude to some of the fluffier sides of scouting but I guess we can't have everything).

So why don't people volunteer? Not just for us but for anything? It's something I can't get my head around. Why do people sit their and scratch their nuts in front of the tv when they could be out their doing something different? Yes it can be hard work but it's also a hell of a lot of fun as well. I know that I have made most of best friends through volunteering

So I'll be heading back in a couple of weeks with mixed feelings.

Pranks

Once upon a time this started out as a blog about being a cub leader, so I just thought I'd share something with you which may seem a bit rambling but bare with me.......

I'm an occasional visitor to e.scouts, it's a discussion forum for scout leaders to exchange ideas and can be quite useful. Over the last few days this discussion has developed For info I am the poster cambridgeakela.

In summary a Canadian Rover Scout came on asking for ideas for pranks to pull on camp and some individuals went off on one at him and told him how selfish he was, as you can see I defended him. Two points to make here, which lead into each other.

First, forget the uniform and the promise and the history, first and foremost scouting is meant to be fun. Those involved should come back with a smile on their face. They may be cold, muddy, tired etc but they should also have had a brilliant time. Being a leader can be dam hard work, it really can but I keep going because of how much fun it is, it's difficult to put into words just what a buzz it can be. And that is why I keep going. And part of the fun is the practical jokes, I've pulled them and been the victim. I ran one leader's bra up the flag pole once, I've tee peed tents (for the uninitiated that means wrapping them in loo role over night), I've stolen shoes left outside tents. Equally I've returned to my tent to find it containing nothing but a giant inflatable palm tree (I'm not kidding!) and been cable tied inside it as well. All very childish at times but utterly hilarious when you are in a group of like minded people.

Which leads me onto point 2. For scouting to be fun, you need fun leaders. They have to have a sense of humour. And this isn't about being young (I became "Akela" at the age of 24, terrifyingly young as this species goes!), it's about being young at heart. Take a look at the responses on that thread, just look at them. Just how much of a sense of humour bye pass have some of these people had?

If people like that are the voice of scouting then it's no surprise that in places we cant recruit and retain leaders. My group has plenty of leaders, I like to think that's because we have brilliant time together, we look after each other as all friends do and we also tease each other mercilessly when its appropriate. We do it to the kids as well! I've lost track of the number of kids I've sent looking for a long wait or stripey paint etc. Unfortunately this attitude to jokes etc reflects a general attitude amongst certain leaders which I think is best described as being officious little gits. The best example is that I have a Girl Guides promise badge on my uniform. Officially I shouldn't but generally no one minds, it is simply a symbol of friendship between two organisations closely linked. It was given to me as a thank you after I turned out to help look for a missing 13 year old girl at 2am who had vanished on camp (found safe and well by the way). Some jumped up little berk of a commissioner tried to get me to take it off. A minor point but one that pissed me right off.

Thankfully scouting both in the UK and across the world is thriving, numbers are heading out of control just about everywhere but we could be doing better if we had the number of leaders, but who wants to be a leader with some of these miserable fuckers as your friends and colleagues?