Back from the great beyond

Well Italy actually, and a fantastic holiday it was, just me and Mrs Akela and some fantastic Italian food and wine. I have to say that if I spoke Italian I would seriously be considering emmigration right now. As it is I have Britain and today's horizontal drizzle and the Daily Mail.

However before I get back to some meat and spuds blogging I thought I'd share a few observations I have made over the last 10 days or so.

1. Italians are far less paranoid that we in Britain. People leave luggage lying around in stations while they go to get a drink without the police wanting to blow it up. Kids play out in the street till remarkably late in the evening without anyone worrying about paedophiles. It's really quite refreshing.

2. The French are even more paranoid about swine flue than we are judging by all the posters up there.

3. When croissants are good they are fucking amazing. When they are bad they are absolutely awful.

4. While I feel sorry for Lucy Jones getting booted off X Factor anyone that thought that the show was a genuine talent show rather than a cynical money making venture by Simon Cowell really is naive. That said given her previous history and the fact that she wont be SCs latest cannon fodder then if the scouts play their cards right this could be the PR opportunity of the century.

5. I was quite sad, I went all the way to Venice and the only souvenir I brought back was a blanket badge.

6. The Mail is its usual lying self. According to the website today paddling has been banned by 'elf and safety. Yes. Of course it has. Obviously. Twats.

Anyway, that's enough from me for the moment, the blog will be gearing up for some of my trade mark ranting in the next day or so, watch this space!